Jay’s Story: Disability and Kink

My first partner introduced me to Kink, nothing special – some role play, some toys.  I was immediately drawn to the creative, “anything goes” sort of vibe, you know, “don’t yuck someone’s yum.” I know now that that sort of vibe only happens if created by the communication and trust required to enter into those more risky or adventurous ways of having sex. I was drawn to how in charge of their sexuality Kinksters I talked to seemed. They knew what turned them on, they knew how to talk to others about what they wanted. Kink gave me a language to talk about how my body worked in a non-judgemental way. Instead of saying “my body is broken so I can only do… XYZ” I feel like sharing how my body works with a partner is just part of the process we all go through to be good partners. Kink showed me that we all have different desires and needs, and gave me the confidence to be upfront and unapologetic about how my body works. I also found it a really accepting community. ”  –Jay